Excerpts from THE BOY
WHO INVENTED SKIING, A MEMOIR:
Vanity:
I had buckteeth. Grown-ups
considered it cute, but my schoolmates and the hired men set me
straight. I was a freak. (My parents) drove me all the way to Denver,
where I was sorely braced with screws, wire, and nasty little
hooks-punishment for imperfection. We subject ourselves to endless pain
and sleepless nights so we can bulge out in some places and not others.
Deciding where the bulges go and don't is everyone else's job but ours,
and they can never make up their minds.
Women:
"We were like bunnies-you
know how bunnies do it?"
"Fast I guess."
She gave me a wicked look.
"Right. Then the boy bunny rolls off and lays there like he's dead, but
the girl bunny jumps into her peddle pushers and hops into the woods,
leaving the boy bunny to the predators."
It was disconcerting to
look up and see the magnified eye of a woman observing me under her
Darwin scope. I discovered I was threatened by women who were fascinated
by evolutionary survival tactics. They were thinking like men.
Drinking:
Alcohol had replaced going
to church as the primary social lubricant for a particular group of
postwar types. Drinking brought them together. They drank to make love,
deals, and money. They drank to loosen up, hitch up, and break up. Most
of all, drinking defined the arc of friendship and love. Drinking was
just too damned good to be true.
Working:
After high school, which I
never finished, life became a series of jobs. I didn't last long at any
one of them, but I rarely quit or got fired for the same reason
twice-the money ran out, the contract ended, the season ended, the
foreman couldn't stand me, I couldn't stand him, I went a little nuts
and jumped ship, and there were others, including the fact that I could
be a real son of a bitch. Being lazy never got me fired that I remember.
Fishing:
At that perfect moment, I
realized fishing was merely my way of searching for that hidden
thing-the secret under the surface, the mystery of the universe, the
truth. It was an unconscious craving, but always there, deep in my
brain, nosing around like a trout searching for a winged morsel. Fishing
wasn't going to reveal anything but fish. At the instant fishing became
a metaphor, I flicked the fly off the water, reeled in the line, and
went home. That was the end of fishing.
Mining:
There is a thing that
happens underground that can happen nowhere else--an arrangement of
motion, light, and the passage of your mind and body through the earth.
If you stand looking forward, on the back of the last car of a long
train whose motor car is around the bend, you will be moving through a
tunnel supported by stull timbers, illuminated only by the lamp on your
hard hat. It feels as though reality is being projected from the middle
of your head and you are always moving into a world you can never quite
enter, because you are always in the dark.